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Sunday, July 20, 2008 at 9:22 PM
"You will learn how to help yourself.
It will break your heart, and it will make you strong."
It may be very true but give me a definition, how do I even help myself?
I've been wondering alot.
About Friends, Boys(?), Family and School.
Friends? Who are the people that are real? Who are the people that are just putting on a facade?
Actually time tells. I have been through the phase when I actually doubt some of my friends and interpret them, zapping my eyes through their inner self.
And now that the phase is over, I am sure of myself and the relationship between me and them.
Some people are just plain selfish. Some people are actually too pampered to be able to listen to anybody. Sometimes, it puzzles me why people are like that.
I think for my character, I am suitable for a neighbourhood school.
Maybe even nanhua will be a difficult school for me. ha ha.
Im more of a simple person, and I dont like people who are scheming. But thats exactly what cchms give me an impression of. not all, but some. And its enough.
Boys(?) Never really had a problem. Just due to some inner conflicts within myself. Couldnt actually face up to anything. I think Im bad at relationships.
And Im currently getting closer with my ex, how good can that be you tell me?
Nothing is going on, and we're just friends. Yeah we are.
My family's good :D
School. What can I say. I want to fucking get out of cchms, As Soon As Possible.
No matter where I go, hwachong, Sa or Ac. Just want to get my ass out of Cchms.
Maybe in every school, there are sure bad points. But I've seen enough of Cchms. Seriously.
And I bet 2years of JC life wouldnt be as bad.
My life is as screwed up in every segment. Its a big big joke. Cant help, next time when I look back, I'll have a great big laugh. Yeah I should.
I should study hard and numb myself with books. Go dating with books.
I keep ranting that its been damn long since I went to pat tor(with a guy), but from tmrw onwards, I shall pat tor with my books everyday. And I mean it.
I have to go and write letter to ____. goodbye.
And pangxueyao, love you okay, dont think too much :)