.
Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 9:11 PM
We were doing so well! We were doing so well. We talked every day,
I knew about your life, we were doing so well at staying in touch.
Determined not to fall
apart and determined to keep our friendship alive, we were doing so well.
I guess now I understand what I was to you. Now that we are here
I can look back and see where I really stood in your eyes.
I’m not your back up and I’m not your cheer up. You’re fine without me
and as much as I adore that you are happy,
it’s breaking my heart to have you not need me anymore.
I've been crying alot lately. Due to pms and not being able to do logarithms. I know its dumb but I cant help it.
Life has been taking a toll on me. I cant help but succumb to it, hoping that I will get over it really soon and become stronger. Everybody seems to be getting on really well, except me. Okay, Im getting really cynical about everything. Sometimes, it sucks to feel this way. I realise I only have myself to depend on, to comfort me, to give me a sense of assurance and security. I wish to run away from crowds, and be alone.
Im filling up inside that I want to find somebody to pour that heart out. But I'll just get denied by myself.
I'll give excuses to cover up, and try to solve everything myself. But it does occur to me that all I wanted was someone to lie beside me and hear what I'm going through. It's contradicting I know. I've had worse times. So, I could just try and do it my way and everything may turn out well?
I dont have any confidence to do whatever I am supposed to do. My motivation shall be partying after O's.
And Im already getting over him so everything clears and I bet I'll feel way better.
I maybe trying to lie to myself, try to motivate myself. So dont come to me and give me a tight slap on the face by saying," you're just fucking lying to yourself " I jolly well know I am. But I just want to make myself feel better.
Im just holding on for dear life, for dear sanity, for dear me. So just let me be, let be the dumb shit.
I will get over it soon but I am not sure what's my definition of soon.
Apologies for the fucking lengthy post. But I dont care whether anybody does read this. I just need some place to rant if I cant bring myself to rant to other people.
This is a black and white movie and it's going to be good.
Full of melancholy and bittersweet departures.
Because I'm moving on and I'm letting go,
even though it's the last thing I want to do.
I'm doing what's best for me later,
even though right now all I want is nothing new.
I knew about your life, we were doing so well at staying in touch.
Determined not to fall
apart and determined to keep our friendship alive, we were doing so well.
I guess now I understand what I was to you. Now that we are here
I can look back and see where I really stood in your eyes.
I’m not your back up and I’m not your cheer up. You’re fine without me
and as much as I adore that you are happy,
it’s breaking my heart to have you not need me anymore.
I've been crying alot lately. Due to pms and not being able to do logarithms. I know its dumb but I cant help it.
Life has been taking a toll on me. I cant help but succumb to it, hoping that I will get over it really soon and become stronger. Everybody seems to be getting on really well, except me. Okay, Im getting really cynical about everything. Sometimes, it sucks to feel this way. I realise I only have myself to depend on, to comfort me, to give me a sense of assurance and security. I wish to run away from crowds, and be alone.
Im filling up inside that I want to find somebody to pour that heart out. But I'll just get denied by myself.
I'll give excuses to cover up, and try to solve everything myself. But it does occur to me that all I wanted was someone to lie beside me and hear what I'm going through. It's contradicting I know. I've had worse times. So, I could just try and do it my way and everything may turn out well?
I dont have any confidence to do whatever I am supposed to do. My motivation shall be partying after O's.
And Im already getting over him so everything clears and I bet I'll feel way better.
I maybe trying to lie to myself, try to motivate myself. So dont come to me and give me a tight slap on the face by saying," you're just fucking lying to yourself " I jolly well know I am. But I just want to make myself feel better.
Im just holding on for dear life, for dear sanity, for dear me. So just let me be, let be the dumb shit.
I will get over it soon but I am not sure what's my definition of soon.
Apologies for the fucking lengthy post. But I dont care whether anybody does read this. I just need some place to rant if I cant bring myself to rant to other people.
This is a black and white movie and it's going to be good.
Full of melancholy and bittersweet departures.
Because I'm moving on and I'm letting go,
even though it's the last thing I want to do.
I'm doing what's best for me later,
even though right now all I want is nothing new.
Labels: blame this on real bad pms.